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Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in atmafox's LiveJournal:

Monday, March 31st, 2008
8:35 pm
Been a long time since I posted
And I need to get something off my chest. Now, I try to live a fairly drama free life. So this is going to be a biiiiig digression from the normal kind of stuff I post, but frankly, I'm too frustrated and annoyed right now to care. I just got done trying to talk to this "young fur" that wants to be a bloody nine year old anthro fox. Whining about how he has no furrends, and how no one cares about him and he just wants to be someone's yifftoy in exchange for shelter and a little kindness. He's twenty-something. He needs to grow up, build a life for himself. Not to say that all babyfurs and youngfurs are bad, but... that in particular strikes me as something that you have to do as a character, as something you do on the weekends or at furcons or what have you, otherwise you're just going to end up running your life into a miserable little hole of no self-respect and no respect from others, being treated horribly because that's what you organize your life around and expect. Grow up, take responsibility and build a life that can sustain you, then worry about finding a way to play at still being a little child.

On to topic two. Some of you that know me well may know how deeply I hold my spirituality. I won't go into what my spirituality is, at the moment, because I'd rather not share it considering what I've seen. See, some of the people that have been introduced to it, one in particular that I care about a great deal and have been trying to help... use it as yet more reason to hate this world, to hate their life, to refuse responsibility for their life. That hurts, a lot. As well as frustrating me and getting me very distinctly annoyed. It violates the first rule of how I hold spirituality for myself, and it makes me feel _dirty_ for believing what I do, even though I know what I believe is perfectly healthy and fine in me. Don't ask me what I believe, because those of you I trust not to misuse it and destroy yourselves with it already know and anyone else, its not your business. That's harsh, that's mean, but that's the mood I'm in right now. If more people could grow up, could be responsible and mature about their beliefs, then maybe I'd not have to be so paranoid about who I tell.

Current Mood: frustrated
Tuesday, June 12th, 2007
2:27 am
So I've gotten myself into a bit of a pickle. Various things, don't ask -- its not that I don't want to share, but this sort of stuff is embarrassing for me. So. As wonderful as my laptop is to have, I'm wanting to part with it.

Is a Compaq N800c: Pentium4M 1.7GHz, 768megs of RAM, replacement 30gig HD, good battery, brand new replacement power supply, DVD/CD-RW, Radeon7200 Mobility, and best of all: 1400x1050 LCD in perfect condition. Is currently running Gentoo Linux.

And... while I wish I could say I really thought the poor girl was worth more, from a brief look on eBay.. $250 plus shipping. Its a nice laptop, runs WinXP or Linux well and makes a wonderful system for coding on. Battery life isn't spectacular, but all that screen real estate is quite useful.

Current Mood: determined
Sunday, November 12th, 2006
3:16 am
What are you looking for?
Ah, went out with Tom tonight, he knows downtown richmond better than I do. Wandered by the Capital Ale House... great place, I might add. A taste for beer is definitely a positive thing, compared to the money spent on harder spirits. Back to the story. He asked me what I'm looking for. I won't go into details, but my answer came down to, "Whatever comes my way." I had built a life where I could plan everything, have some hope of the plans holding true. Not so now. But on the other hand, do I really need to? I'm living so much more than I did then. Whether its because I'm free of a lot of the weights I had created for myself, or whether I'm living more and planning less, I'm not sure.

Current Mood: contemplative
Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
2:41 pm
No internet
So, for those of you wondering where I've been, and what's up with the distinct lack of posts... I'm without inet for a bit. Mooching off of "linksys" right now, but I don't terribly like to do such. So! Aw well. I'll have it back soon, and in the meantime, I can leech "linksys" or "NETGEAR" fairly well with this system. Its slow, but it gets me on LJ and AIM for a bit. Though, I am gonna haveta run off to work fairly soon now. Hopefully I'll see folks fairly soon. Oh, and life's still going well. <^_^>

Current Mood: bored
Friday, October 6th, 2006
3:35 am
Small favors
So work went well today. I was doing the booth, where I give people keys, check people in when they return vehicles, and keep track of cars that just got brought up to get them into the system as available for rental. Oh, and I have to keep track of cars that have been returned but are not going to be available for rental after cleaning, if they have something like tags, inspection, maintenance, whatever due. Lots of stuff. It was crazy. I was running around. The customers were, by and large, appreciative though. I enjoyed it, certainly, not nearly as boring as the counter, but also far less chance for commission check. Oh well, I've got the other days of the month to earn that. (=

Mind, I was there 'cause I swapped with a girl that wanted a chance at some closing overtime waiting on delayed flights. She's gonna get it, but worst luck, they're turning power off to the area with the rental car counters so she's not going to have the computer to print the contracts for her. Means she has to draw up manual contracts. We've got forms for that, but its tedious copying of information, if you happen to have printed the information out ahead of time. As we knew this was coming, we did. I went through and printed up each rate she'd need, as well as all the list of available cars and the list of reservations still on the books for today. She's also got time to fill out the manual contract forms ahead of time, and shred them if the customer never shows. Some stuff, though, has to be done then, like the license information, credit card authorization phone calls, etc. I'm really glad I took that swap, but I feel bad for her.

In non-work news, I bought shoes yesterday. At walmart. Most uncomfortable shoes ever, they're going back just as soon as I have time. Today, I bought a pair at payless for a bit more... not as good as my rockports, but they'll do. Granted, reason I'm buying shoes is work related, otherwise I'd not buy another pair of guy shoes again. I _had_ to have black shoes for work. Sigh. Aw well, not too expensive, and this will definitely be the last pair of guy shoes I ever get. =D

Current Mood: amused
Saturday, September 23rd, 2006
10:59 pm
Happy fun time!
So I think I might actually get around a $900 check. Next friday. Unfortunately, that leaves me with $5 until then. Whoohoo, being broke!

At least I won't be quite as broke as I was anticipating after the check, so I should be able to pay some people back, which is always a good thing. Also, since I have quite a bit of time tonight, I think I'll actually play another session of Hearts of Iron II. Or maybe I'll read AARs. There're some really good ones, and I dun haveta take the keyboard, mouse, and monitor off the computer I chat on to do such. I miss my dual display setup I had back in Christiansburg. Oh well, I'll have that again soonish!

Current Mood: cheerful
Thursday, September 21st, 2006
2:40 am
I'm posting a lot. Wow. I guess I just really want to share things right now.

In particular, I'm sitting here enjoying an anime and smiling. Not a manic happy smile. Just a soft calm smile. Its a great feeling. I really wish I could share it. Share it with Michelle, or Tybis, or Kit. Share it with Jeffrey, with everyone I care about. Someone, here with me offline to be close to. It took losing something I wanted so much it hurt me to understand what I was doing wrong. I hope the people I care about find their happiness. I hope it involves me being in their life, but I've no right to demand that.

So, this was said despite the risk of this being seen as clingy. Oh well. I can only live my life, and only control how I interpret something. To me, this does not seem to be.

To everyone that reads this, good night. I hope you find your happiness. To those of you that I care about, I hope that happiness includes me, or that I can join in your search for it in a positive way.

Goodnight world, to those going to bed, sweet dreams. To those waking up, have a good day at work and may your day be fruitful and productive.

Most of all, to you, Mephox, may you find your peace with yourself and your happiness, whether it is truly isolated from everyone or in all of us that care about you's lives. Oh, and yes, please do nitpick my grammar, as I know this post has been atrocious. <^_^>


Current Mood: happy
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